Setting Limits in the Classroom

Great summary found here:

Create structure that works
You will create a structure no matter what you do, so create one that works. Use “responsibility” and “accountability”. Don’t assume children know what you expect. The lesson of structure will be taught one way or another. The only question is:  Who’s teaching the lesson?

How Teachers Teach Their Rules
Permissive Approach (respectful but not firm)
Punitive Approach (firm but not respectful)
Mixed Approach (neither firm nor respectful)
Democratic Approach (firm and respectful)

Actions consistent with words – then many words or harsh consequences are not necessary. When our words don’t match our actions, we are teaching 2 rules: a rule in theory and a rule in practice.

How Children Learn Your Rules
By testing limits

Limits communicate our rules and expectations and answer the questions: What’s ok? What’s not ok? Who’s in control? How far can I go? What happens when I go too far?

Children don’t come up to you and say: How much authority do you really have? How do I know you really mean what you say? And what are you going to do if I don’t do what you say?

They do what we ask them not to do and wait to see what happens. They test the limits. A lot of “misbehavior” is clarification and “research”. Strong-willed children can be more determined to train us than we are to train them. They may require more repetition until they are convinced. Or sometimes more information: Turn the volume down or I will turn off the tv.

Give them all the information they need to make an acceptable decision.

The Classroom Dance
Whether it is the permissive, punitive or mixed type, it is a back and forth struggle between teacher and student with too many steps between disruption and closure.

The hardest part for the teacher is to resist the temptation to join the dance!

Steps to avoid the dance: 1) student disrupts 2) give limited choices 3) disruption continues 4) follow through with consequences 5) disruption stops

Are Your Limits Firm or Soft?
Concept of a yellow or red light: children don’t stop for the same reason that adults don’t. Stopping is optional, not required.

Soft limits are when no means yes, sometimes or maybe.

Wishes, hopes and shoulds; repeating and reminding; speeches lectures and sermons; warnings and second chances; cooperate, OK?; statements of fact (I’m ready to start.); ignoring the misbehavior; reasoning and explaining; pleading and cajoling; bribes and special rewards; unclear directions; ineffective role modeling; inconsistency between 2 authorities

Guidelines for Using Firm Limits
Keep the focus of your message on behavior
Be direct and specific
Use your normal voice
Specify your consequences if necessary
Support your words with effective action

Stopping Power Struggles Before They Begin
The Check-In Procedure: when we give a clear message with our words, but students don’t respond as expected, “check in” by saying one of the following:

• What did I ask you to do?  
• Did you understand what I said?  
• Were my directions clear?  
• Tell me what you heard me say.  

Student repeats.  Teacher responds:  Then do it now, please.  If the student can’t repeat it, just supply the necessary information.

The Cut-Off Technique:  when a student tries to engage you in a “dance”, say something like:
We’re done talking about it. If you bring it up again, … or Discussion time is over. You can do what you were asked, or you can spend some quiet time by yourself getting ready to do it. What would you like to do?

The Cooldown:  in situations of anger or upset, separate from the child by deciding to discuss the situation later. Allow sufficient time for all parties to restore control before attempting further problem solving.

How to Use Consequences to Support Your Rules
Consequences force students to be accountable. Consequences are effective when they have the following properties:  Immediacy, Consistency, Relatedness, Duration, Respect, Clean slates

Natural Consequences
Require limited involvement on the part of the teacher.  They place responsibility onto the student. Examples:

• When something is damaged or stolen due to carelessness or misuse
• When children make a habit out of forgetting
• When children fail to do their part (take gym clothes home to wash, etc.)
• When kids procrastinate (getting to school on time)

Logical Consequences
Use your normal voice

Think in simple terms (Most misbehavior involves: children with other children, children with adults, children with objects, children with activities, or children with privileges. In most cases, the logical consequence is to separate the 2)

Before rules are violated, set up logical consequences with limited choices

After rules have been violated, apply logical consequences directly

Use times for dawdling and procrastinating

Use logical consequences as often as you need them (Don’t assume the consequence is ineffective if it has to be repeated.  Some people need more data than others)