Over the past two months I’ve learned several helpful mindful strategies, including the body scan, mindful movement, and mindful eating. Body scans were initially very difficult for me but have become easier with practice. That is to say, initially I literally could not feel parts of my body. I especially had trouble feeling my legs, especially my upper legs. But practice makes things more perfect, and I’m now more sensitive and aware, and consequently it’s easier for me to be in tune with my body, to recognize when certain muscles are sore, tense, etc. The benefit of this has been huge. A therapist once told me that I was the most un-embodied person she’d ever met, meaning that I lived mostly in my head with little awareness of my physical being. The body scan is helping to connect my mind and body.
Mindful movement is helpful -- in part because it allows for me to engage other senses and body parts in my mindfulness practice. Body scans, for instance, are done with my eyes closed. Mindful movement, on the other hand, requires me to look around and to become visually mindful, to observe, for instance, the branches of a tree, to study those branches, follow their patterns, etc.
Mindful eating is similarly helpful because it requires me to use a sense which is not employed in most mindful practices. Sometimes it gets difficult sitting in a chair, eyes closed, focusing on my breath, focusing on the feelings in my body. My mind gets tired, bored. Mindful eating is something that comes more naturally to me. This is a mindful practice that I feel I was immediately good at. I find it fun to be mindful of my eating; I like taking slow bites, savoring each taste. Amid the stress of my days it can be difficult to take a minute to do a body scan, whereas it’s easier to find those raisin moments.
What understandings of mindfulness have I gained from this class? Two big ones. First, I learned that I can do it, I can be mindful. My attempts at mindfulness in the past were riddled with failure and frustration. This class forced me to be mindful -- day after day, week after week. And somewhat to my surprise, I learned that I can do it, I can be mindful for several minutes at a time, I can improve with practice. The second big thing I learned was that one’s mindful practice need not be confined to the same activity. When I thought of mindfulness in the past, I thought of someone sitting in the Buddha pose, eyes closed, focused on their breathing. Now I realize, as I articulated above, that mindfulness can be varied, can involve different activities and different senses.
I can definitely think of different ways this class has made a difference in my profession. First, I’m less self-conscious about deep breathing. Mindfulness, or at least my perception of it, rubbed me the wrong way in the past. When I tried to practice it, I felt silly, overly self-conscious, even pretentious. Which is problematic given that I’m a social worker who is constantly teaching kids the importance of deep breathing. Now I’m more comfortable modeling deep breathing for my students and encouraging them to do so. Second, I feel that my attention span has improved. Earlier in the school year, I became overwhelmed with stress and worry and would sometimes find myself worrying during counseling sessions with students. Worrying about my own problems instead of listening intently to the student in front of me. I’ve started to notice that when I practice mindfulness several days in a row, I’m better able to focus in counseling sessions. Third, I’m better able to calm down. My job, as I’ve mentioned, is stressful. My supervisors are incredibly difficult. I still often forget to practice mindfulness throughout the day, but when I remember, I’m able to quickly calm myself, recenter myself, block out all the stress. And I think being calm is necessary for being a good school social worker. The students have enough chaos in their lives and need calm, focused adults to support them.
I think there are two major behavior changes that have resulted from my mindfulness practice. First, as mentioned above, my attention span has increased. I’m better able to pay attention when working with students and also better able to pay attention when performing other activities. For instance, after I’ve practiced mindfulness for a few consecutive days, I find that I’m better able to read for a sustained period of time, as opposed to reading a paragraph and then feeling the need to check my cell phone. I still feel that urge to check my cell phone, but it’s not as strong. Second, I’m better at calming myself more quickly. One thing that’s surprised me is how quickly mindfulness practice can work. If I’m having a really rough morning, I’ve found that simply closing my eyes for 30 seconds, just 30 seconds, is enough to calm me down considerably.
Mindfulness can be very calming. This is one of its major benefits. And when educators are calm, the students around them become calmer. I’ve noticed that the administrators at my school always seem stressed. You can tell not just by their words but by their whole demeanor. Even though I might have trouble telling you what non-verbals of theirs I’m picking up on, I know that they’re sending out very strong signals, which in turn affect the stress levels of those around them. Conversely, when one is calm, when on is “chill,” others around them (other educators, as well as students) pick up on this and are in turn more likely to be calm. So I would venture to say that my mindfulness practice is helping to de-escalate those around me.
I can think of a student who is especially challenging for me. This young lady has numerous strengths, and yet she continues to flounder, to skip classes, to act out in class. This all despite all the efforts we’ve made at school, all the efforts her parents have made, all the efforts I have personally made to encourage her, support her, and help her succeed. This student is so tough for me because I don’t see her making any progress. With most students I see one step backwards, two steps forward. This young lady seems stagnant. When I see this student in the hallway, I generally feel hopeless. Sometimes I feel angry with her. I feel no motivation to do anything more to help this student succeed. I try my best not to show this student my feelings. I try to smile. I act kind and try to be there for her. But it’s tough.
I’m not exactly sure why this student acts this way. I think she’s had a rough childhood. Her father has been in and out of her life and is currently out. Her mother seems self-involved and inconsistent. I think the best approach with this student is to be both compassionate and strong. That is to say, I cannot give up on this student. I must show her that I believe in her and care about her. But I must also be firm; I can’t make excuses for her or let her get away with even minor behavioral infractions. Her caregivers have withheld love, and so I need to be steadfast in my love for her. Her caregivers have been inconsistent, so I must be consistent. What would I learn if I could learn one thing about this student? I would just want to know what’s going on in her mind. I’d want to know how she feels about herself. Does she like herself, believe in herself? Is her attitude something she erected to mask fear, feelings of inadequacy? I think that my mindfulness practice has increased my patience, and I think patience is one thing this student needs.
So why has this PDU been important for my learning? In addition to the points I’ve already described, this PDU will help me to teach mindfulness to students. Earlier in the school year, I bought a mindfulness curriculum with the intent of leading a mindfulness class at my school. I know that many studies show that mindfulness can help reduce anxiety and improve self-control among young people. As I started reading through this curriculum, I read a sentence which should have been obvious to me before I began: One cannot effectively teach mindfulness to others without having considerable experience practicing mindfulness in one’s own life. I’ve by no means mastered mindfulness, but over the course of this class I’ve become much more proficient at it, and I will continue practicing it. Consequently, I think that in the future I will finally be at a place where I can teach mindfulness to young people, which will make me much more helpful to them.
No comments:
Post a Comment