Like such forerunners as Erik Erikson, Mahler believed that humans develop sequentially and that we must accomplish “certain tasks” for healthy development to occur (Weinberg). Failure to accomplish these tasks, she believed, could result in various pathologies.
For Mahler, the first important developmental stage is symbiosis. Symbiosis, she believed, comprises roughly the first four months of life. During symbiosis, the infant believes that she and her mother are one undifferentiated being. Mahler felt that symbiosis was self-evidently true. She later claimed to find support for it after noticing that some infants underwent overwhelming anxiety when they were prematurely separated from their mothers (Pine 515-16).
As a brief excursus, we should note that child psychologists today do not hold to symbiosis, at least not as Mahler conceived it. This change occurred in the early 1980s when psychologist Daniel Stern showed that even very young infants have different conceptions of themselves and others. Stern’s research, however, has not fundamentally changed Mahler’s theory. Researcher Louise Weinberg writes that “even if the infant is aware of a separate other almost from birth, this awareness is certainly most rudimentary. As the infant grows and develops, so too does this awareness.” Fred Pine, one of Mahler’s colleagues, adds that “evidence of moments of differentiated perception in the infant does not rule out the presence of moments in which the infant experiences an undifferentiatedness, an enveloping surround of inarticulable states with the mother.”
After symbiosis, Mahler believed that the infant begins the separation-individuation process. During separation-individuation, the child gradually realizes that she’s distinct from her mother and begins to establish her own identity and the ability to function autonomously. This process consists of four overlapping stages: Differentiation, Practicing, Rapprochement, and Object Constancy.
Differentiation begins at around 5 months. During differentiation, the infant begins to awaken, to “hatch,” as Mahler put it. The infant begins to realize that she is different than her mother. She begins to notice her surroundings, to play with her mother’s facial features, her jewelry. It is through this process, through touching her own face and feeling the double-sensation of fingertips and face and touching her mother’s face and feeling the single-sensation of fingertips, that the infant begins to understand that the mother is her own person (Pine).
Differentiation can also occur during the game of peak-a-boo. Here the infant sees her mother one moment, and then the mother covers her face, and she disappears. She sees her mother, and then she doesn’t. As Fred Pine writes, “In this game, the infant is learning about the appearance and disappearance of the whole, emotionally significant, other—the mother. The learning is taking place in the context of play and pleasure, but learning is certainly taking place.”
Practicing begins at around 9 months. During this phase the child becomes mobile and begins exploring her surroundings. She begins crawling and eventually walking and running. She begins leaving her mother to explore the world, so to speak. Her mother remains incredibly important, of course. Mahler wrote that the exploring infant needs to frequently return to her mother for “emotional refueling.” It’s just that the mother, although still the sun in the child’s firmament, is no longer the only object there.
Pine points out that during this phase the child develops, not just a sense of separation, but also of individuation. He writes: “The child, in taking on individual characteristics, practices the motor, cognitive, perceptual, and vocal skills that will contribute mightily to who the child will become as a full human being. The attitude toward mastery and the sense of excitement and joy that develop at this time, if they survive the crises of the forthcoming rapprochement subphase, will, as we might imagine, be important components of the child’s later sense of agency.”
The next phase, rapprochement, begins at around 18 months. During rapprochement, the thrill of exploration begins to wear off and the child again feels an urgent need to be near her mother. This stage is marked by conflict. One moment the child will exult in and in fact fight for her growing independence and autonomy. The next moment she will feel anxious if she’s not near her mother. As an example of rapprochement, Mahler pointed to a toddler who injured his hand. When his mother picked him up, the boy fought against her, turning his face and upper body away, but all the while continuing to hold out his hand for inspection.
We need another brief excursus here to note that modern attachment researchers don’t believe that Mahler got rapprochement right. To be more precise, they don’t believe that rapprochement, as described by Mahler, is normal or healthy. Rather, researchers believe that there’s usually something wrong with children who exhibit ambivalent emotions when being comforted by a caregiver. Children usually act this way because they failed to form a secure attachment with that caregiver during their first 18 months of life.
Individuation, these researchers believe, need not be accompanied by such drastic conflict. Rather, they emphasize that children can become individuated while remaining attached to their caregivers. Karlen Lyons-Ruth notes that children can “establish and preserve emotional ties to preferred caregivers at all costs, while simultaneously attempting to find a place within these relationships for his or her own goals and initiatives.”
Mahler’s final phase, object constancy, begins at around 24 months. Object constancy is the child’s ability to internalize her mother, to form an image of her mother when they’re apart. Internalizing her mother allows the child to be comforted when the two are separated. This in turn allows the child to pursue her own activities and function independently. The more she pursues her own activities, of course, the more self-confidence she becomes and the more she begins to know herself and feel the freedom to become her own person. Mahler believed that the child who has achieved object constancy has come to fully understand that she is distinct from others. With this comes the realization that others have their own thoughts and feelings. With this comes the realization that they don’t exist simply to satisfy our own needs and wants but that they have needs and wants of their own. With object constancy also comes the ability to integrate other people’s good and bad qualities. So instead of seeing people as all good or all bad, we see them more realistically, as containing both good and bad qualities.
Mahler developed her belief in object constancy after observing that some children, when absent from their mothers, seemed to comfort themselves “by saying ‘mommy’ to themselves” (Pine).
* * * * *
As mentioned earlier, Mahler believed that failing to achieve the previously discussed developmental tasks can lead to later problems and pathologies. And indeed subsequent research has in many cases shown this to be the case.
Much research, for instance, has shown that severe pathologies can occur when there are disturbances during the symbiotic phase—in other words, disturbances in infant-caregiver attachment. Such individuals often grow up with self-esteem problems and have difficulty relating to others. Severe problems can also result when individuals do not successfully complete the separation-individuation process.
Individuals who fail to achieve object constancy in particular tend to develop numerous problems. For instance, such individuals tend to view other people as extensions of themselves. In other words, they view others as good for gratifying their own needs but not as having needs of their own. Those who fail to achieve object constancy also tend to engage in the psychological defense of splitting. Consequently, they view others as being either all good or all bad. This is typical of people with borderline personality disorder. Finally, because those who haven’t developed object constancy have such a weak sense of their own selves, they usually have difficulty regulating their moods. As a result, such individuals have very little impulse-control.
Researcher Diane Zosky pointed out a few years ago that men who engage in domestic violence tend to display these latter qualities. That is to say, men who engage in domestic violence tend to view others, not as separate beings, but as need-gratifiers, essentially extensions of themselves. These men tend to engage in the defense of splitting. And these men have difficulty regulating their moods.
Zosky hypothesized that men who are domestically violent have not transitioned through the separation-individuation process as successfully as men who are not domestically violent. To test this hypothesis, she took two groups of men, one that had engaged in domestic violence and one that had not. She had both groups take the Separation-Individuation Process Inventory, a 39-question inventory based on Mahler’s theory. And just as she predicted, the men with a history of domestic violence scored significantly lower on the Separation-Individuation Inventory, suggesting that they had not as successfully achieved the tasks of the separation-individuation process.
* * * * *
In conclusion we can say that, although modern research has caused us to revise parts of Mahler’s theory of separation-individuation, her theory remains most intact and eminently useful. It is clear that in order to become healthy functioning people, we must form proper attachments with our caregivers when we’re young. A premature or separation is traumatic so often leads to major problems.
It’s also clear that in order to become healthy functioning people, we must pass through the separation-individuation process. That is to say, we must learn to stand on our own and to see our caregivers and others as distinct beings with their own thoughts, feelings, and needs.
References
Botkin, M.J. (2003). Separation-individuation. In Encyclopedia.com. Retrieved from http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1G2-3406900380.html
Mahler, M., Pine, F., & Bergan, A. (1975). Psychological birth of the human infant: Symbiosis and individuation. Great Britain: Hutchinson & Co.
Pine, F. (2004). Mahler’s concepts of "symbiosis" and separation-individuation: revisited, reevaluated, refined. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 52(2): 511-33.
Tyson, P. (2004). Points on a compass: Four views on the developmental theories of Margaret Mahler and John Bowlby. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 52(2): 499-509.
Weinberg, L. (1991). Infant development and the sense of self: Stern vs. Mahler. Clinical Social Work Journal, 19(1), 9-22.
Zosky, D. (2005). Disruptions in the separation-individuation process of domestically violent men. Journal of Human Behavior in the Social Environment, 12(4), 43-60.
* * * * *
As mentioned earlier, Mahler believed that failing to achieve the previously discussed developmental tasks can lead to later problems and pathologies. And indeed subsequent research has in many cases shown this to be the case.
Much research, for instance, has shown that severe pathologies can occur when there are disturbances during the symbiotic phase—in other words, disturbances in infant-caregiver attachment. Such individuals often grow up with self-esteem problems and have difficulty relating to others. Severe problems can also result when individuals do not successfully complete the separation-individuation process.
Individuals who fail to achieve object constancy in particular tend to develop numerous problems. For instance, such individuals tend to view other people as extensions of themselves. In other words, they view others as good for gratifying their own needs but not as having needs of their own. Those who fail to achieve object constancy also tend to engage in the psychological defense of splitting. Consequently, they view others as being either all good or all bad. This is typical of people with borderline personality disorder. Finally, because those who haven’t developed object constancy have such a weak sense of their own selves, they usually have difficulty regulating their moods. As a result, such individuals have very little impulse-control.
Researcher Diane Zosky pointed out a few years ago that men who engage in domestic violence tend to display these latter qualities. That is to say, men who engage in domestic violence tend to view others, not as separate beings, but as need-gratifiers, essentially extensions of themselves. These men tend to engage in the defense of splitting. And these men have difficulty regulating their moods.
Zosky hypothesized that men who are domestically violent have not transitioned through the separation-individuation process as successfully as men who are not domestically violent. To test this hypothesis, she took two groups of men, one that had engaged in domestic violence and one that had not. She had both groups take the Separation-Individuation Process Inventory, a 39-question inventory based on Mahler’s theory. And just as she predicted, the men with a history of domestic violence scored significantly lower on the Separation-Individuation Inventory, suggesting that they had not as successfully achieved the tasks of the separation-individuation process.
* * * * *
In conclusion we can say that, although modern research has caused us to revise parts of Mahler’s theory of separation-individuation, her theory remains most intact and eminently useful. It is clear that in order to become healthy functioning people, we must form proper attachments with our caregivers when we’re young. A premature or separation is traumatic so often leads to major problems.
It’s also clear that in order to become healthy functioning people, we must pass through the separation-individuation process. That is to say, we must learn to stand on our own and to see our caregivers and others as distinct beings with their own thoughts, feelings, and needs.
References
Botkin, M.J. (2003). Separation-individuation. In Encyclopedia.com. Retrieved from http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1G2-3406900380.html
Mahler, M., Pine, F., & Bergan, A. (1975). Psychological birth of the human infant: Symbiosis and individuation. Great Britain: Hutchinson & Co.
Pine, F. (2004). Mahler’s concepts of "symbiosis" and separation-individuation: revisited, reevaluated, refined. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 52(2): 511-33.
Tyson, P. (2004). Points on a compass: Four views on the developmental theories of Margaret Mahler and John Bowlby. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 52(2): 499-509.
Weinberg, L. (1991). Infant development and the sense of self: Stern vs. Mahler. Clinical Social Work Journal, 19(1), 9-22.
Zosky, D. (2005). Disruptions in the separation-individuation process of domestically violent men. Journal of Human Behavior in the Social Environment, 12(4), 43-60.
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