BrainWise

Review Wise Ways at beginning of each class

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Way Way #1: The Brain

Senses ⇒ Thalmus (Relay Center) ⇒ Hypothalmus (Lizard Brain) (reacts)
-or-
Prefrontal Cortex (Wizard Brain)

• Taste something bad ⇒ spit it out
• Touch something ⇒ jerk away
• See ball coming at your face ⇒ duck
• Hear loud sound ⇒ jump
• Smell smoke ⇒ jump

Prefrontal Cortex (Wizard Brain) is not connected to the Thalmus; we have to build connections. At first these connections are like thin threads >> when we use them they become stronger and interrupt the already strong signal b/t the Thalmus and Hypothalmus.

When you respond w/o thinking you are using your Lizard Brain. When you stop and think, you are using your Wizard Brain.

Lizard brain responses usually create problems instead of protecting us from problems.

Using the 10 Wise Ways helps the brain construct neural pathways that direct messages to the Prefrontal Cortex.

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#2: Support

Learn to: (1) identify people besides friends to include in your support system (someone who can provide guidance and help to solve problems), (2) judge the type of support a particular person can give us.

Do you talk w/ anyone when you have a problem?
Talking to someone (a) makes you feel better, (b) often helps you solve the problem.
Some people give bad advice and make the problem worse.

Use example of getting good grades >> who helps you get good grades?

Have them draw their own constellation, lines.

“Are there people who may not want anyone else to do better than they are doing?” Give examples, ask why people would want to sabotage you.

Ask what are sources of support for problems at school and outside school. Discuss what qualities you should look for in a support person.

Now think about your current constellation of support when having social problems. Ask (a) Is it as helpful as it could be? (b) Are there ppl who may not want you to succeed and who create more problems for you? (c) What steps can you take to build a support system that will help you?

Scenario: Bully beats kid up, takes his money.

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#3: Reg Flags

Boats in ocean required to raise a red flag if one of their passengers is in water >> person in water could be in great danger. Learn here how to learn to recognize internal and external cues to warn us that a problem is about to surface.

Red Flags >> e.g., b/f you get angry, you're muscles tighten, heart beats faster, feel yourself getting hot.

Learn to identify internal red flags >> learn to heed these "as signs to proceed w/ caution."

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#4: Exiting the Emotions Elevator

Building skills to manage your emotions. Ways to control your feelings:

1. Use self-talk: Tell yourself to calm down, say "Easy now," "It's not worth the trouble," "Don't get upset," "Don't do anything stupid." Tell yourself you can handle the problem, you're in control, you having the thinking skills needed.
2. Tell yourself to "Stop!": 
3. Leave the situation: Give yourself a time-out. Get away and stay calm.
4. Do something else. Listen to music, watch a movie, etc.
5. Take deep breaths: Count backward from ten, imagine that the elevator is going down one floor with each breath you take.

Elevator floors: 1) Calm, 2) Annoyed, 3) Upset... 8) Furious, 9) Enraged, 10) Explosive

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#5: Separate Fact from Opinion

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#6: Asking Questions and Gathering Information

Is my or someone else's behavior based on Wizard Brain thinking or Lizard Brain thinking? What resources are available for support? To whom can I go for help? What Red Flags signal a problem? What emotions are being felt and on what floor of the Emotions Elevator are they? What can be done to go to a lower floor or get off the elevator? Is the underlying issue a fact or opinion? 

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#7: Identifying Your Choices

People in the Lizard Brain mode don't realize that they have more than one choice. 

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#8: Considering Consequences

Consider the consequences now and later.

Consequence the consequences affecting others. 

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#9: Setting Goals and Plans for Action

This requires using all the Wise Ways.

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#10: Communicating Effectively

Know that the way you communicate--e.g., non-verbals--can set off other people's red flags. 

"I" statements are ways to communicate w/o offend >> instead of, "You never listen to me" try "I want to be heard and I feel like I'm not." 

Four communication styles: 

1. Passive: putting aside your own feelings and needs to accept someone else's position.
2. Aggressive: involves impulsive and volatile responses.
3. Passive-aggressive.
4. Assertive: Make position clear but w/o intimidation. Can be passionate but controlled.

Points of View